One month down...

For two weeks I have been trying to find time to sit down at my computer and write this blog. But uninterrupted time is hard to come by here in my house. Seems like there is always a pressing need, an urgent request, or a shrill scream: i.e. "Mooooommmm!!!!".
So I got up extra early this morning to write this. I don't know why... its not like I am a syndicated columnist. I wonder why people write blogs? Some people even write them every day or even several times a day(those people must get paid!).
I asked myself this morning if I couldn't just email someone. But it feels cathartic to get things in print like this. And hey I get to play with the font and the templates and add pictures... And with a blog I am not forcing anyone to read my ramblings. As a matter of fact I think I have a readership of two (and one of you is my mom).
Well, we have sailed past the one month milestone.
My adrenaline is running a little low now, I'll admit. I think the first month for us military- wives-of-deployed-service-members is all about adrenaline. Its all about making new routines, keeping busy, sending packages like crazy, and waiting for those first phone calls. Its about getting used to sleeping alone (unless you have kids like mine who like to camp out in your bedroom), trying to trim the lawn without amputating a limb (your own, with the weed-eater)... and utter despair when you come home to find a message on the phone from your husband that says he called while you were making that fifteen minute trip to the Commissary for milk (after sitting by the phone for four days). Its the bitterness of holding your six year old son when he finally breaks down and sobs "I miss my Daddy!!!!". Then the bittersweetness of watching your kids adjust to not having their Daddy, and trying to keep a balance of missing him and going on without him (all the while remembering that we will be making the reverse adjustment again in a few months).
Its about knowing that no one who is not a military wife can truly understand how you feel or what you need -but wishing desperately that they did! Its realizing that we are a military at war and not a country at war. And most Americans live their lives without a thought to the sacrifices that are being made on their behalf -every day, every moment. And its having to hear from well-meaning friends and relatives how poorly they think our government is being run and how our troops should just come home...which is no comfort to me because I am proud of my country and what our troops are doing in Iraq. What really encourages me is for people to say : I believe in what your husband is doing. I appreciate his sacrifice."
This first month for me has been all about staying the course...not wavering with every emotion, but setting my mind steadfastly to the task at hand. Every morning I remind the Lord about His promise in Isaiah 54:5, that HE is my Husband. He will have to meet my needs and walk with me. He will have to fend off fear and uncertainty. He will be my Refuge and my Rock. Peace will have to flow from Him. In my own strength I will lose resilience. I will waver. I will give way to loneliness and fear. But in His power I am equipped for all things....even being a military wife.


May 9th has been designated Military Spouse Day by president George Bush this year!